Splash Gets Her Name

It seems that to achieve my goal of monetizing my blog (LOL) I better improve at writing more frequently... so with that in mind, take a minute and join me on a trip back in time!

The weekend of May 29th we had a group of some of our closest friends join us on Splash for her official naming ceremony! For those of you that aren't familiar with some serious sailor superstitions, it is believed among the ocean-going that if you are going to rename a boat (bad luck, allegedly), you must perform the proper ceremony to gain King Neptune's acceptance.

For the ceremony, nine of us set sail to Burgoyne Bay and performed the official rite of passage required to strike all record of Splash's previous name from Neptune's record. Many champagne bottles were popped, and we celebrated over charcuterie and a ton of laughter. One of the best weekends we've had in a while and we couldn't have asked for better people to share it with!

The Not-So-Serious Yet Totally Sacred Renaming Ceremony of the Sailboat Splash

Ladies, gentlemen, salty sea dogs, and landlubbers who just came for the champagne — welcome aboard!

Today we gather to perform one of the most perilous tasks a sailor can undertake — no, not reefing the mainsail in 30 knots — something far more dangerous: renaming a boat. Sailors have long believed that the sea gods, especially mighty Poseidon, ruler of the seas, keep a ledger of all boats by name. To rename a vessel without properly striking her former name from that record is to risk Poseidon's wrath! Old sailors say that renaming a boat without asking permission from Poseidon will curse you with bad luck, tangled lines, and endless dragging anchor chains. We’re not taking any chances.

We begin by respectfully retiring the old name of this noble vessel — the one entered in Poseidon's big salty spreadsheet of boats.

Oh mighty and great ruler of the seas, Poseidon, guardian of the deep, we call upon you today with respect and reverence. We present to you the former name of this vessel, Lady Kintyre, which we ask you to forget forevermore. 

We thank her for all the safe voyages, and we ask that her name be removed from your scrolls and memory. May she be cleansed of her past identity and begin anew. 

We also call on the Four Winds to bless this vessel on her new adventures:

• Great Boreas, ruler of the North Wind, grant us your strength and safe passage. 

• Zephyrus, West Wind, bring us calm seas and stunning sunsets.

• Eurus, East Wind, guide us toward discovery and wonder.

• Notus, South Wind, keep our journey smooth and our spirits light.

May your winds be ever at our backs.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for; the reason we’ve been standing here pretending this isn’t totally ridiculous... We ask Poseidon and the Winds to bless her and all who sail on her. Bring her fair winds, loyal friends, and safe journeys across all seas. 

We now erase the old name and speak into existence the new one. From this moment on, this mighty vessel shall be known far and wide, through calm seas and questionable anchoring attempts, as...

SPLASH! 

May she always stay above the waterline, and may her name never become ironic.

So let’s toast to Splash — to fair winds, cold drinks, weird tan lines, and stories we’ll only re-tell each other.